MScrivner wrote:
And then if you aren't too offended by the trash-talking, the yelling, the betrayal, the arbitrary and ruthless and downright cruel game atmosphere, we'll probably finish the evening out with the most incredibly nasty, cut-throat, knives-out, bullying, trash-talking, king-making, ruthless, hate-filled, Azathoth-worshipping, hard-core game of Agricola you will ever play...
...And when you go to game events in your city, you will seriously crush the shirt-tuckers and eurotards who play nice and calmly--they will sit down for a nice conflictless game of Le Havre and you'll be getting inside their head with your trash-talking, with your deal-making, and with your ruthless and cut-throat play. They will fear you. You will be the Ameritrash player at the table, and they will tremble in the wake of the corpses you leave at each gaming table you visit.
I take offense. That is how a man (also my wife) plays euros. You want trash talk? Watch what happens if you jump 2 spots in turn order for the draft in Macao, taking away my silk storage card. I will curse you, your promiscuous mother, and the parade of milkmen and pool-cleaners that, probability-wise, are your father(s).
When playing any of my colonial-themed Euros, I will, despite being brown myself, make it clear that I am exploiting these uncivilized savages for the glory of king and country. Leave your liberal guilt at the door, because buck-o, shit just got real. Yeah. Gimme that boatload of workers- excuse me, slaves. Yeah. I'm making an opium den, yeah I'm paying off the judge, yeah the po-po come knocking at your door. Look, I don't need to set your house on fire with an ork horde if I've already repossessed the land you lived on, and built myself a fine-ass pagoda out of the bones of your and your children. They call me Silky Chen.
Waah waaah I'm manly because I throw dice. Fuck that. Take destiny into your own hands. Play the cards, lay the tiles, and in doing, slip the surly bounds of earth and reach out and punch the face of god.
I proudly play Euros, and I play them with soul.